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<div class="chap-title">
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8. Chapter 8
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</div>
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<div class="chap-text">
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<p><em>This chapter is quite important and will finally get the ball rolling some
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more. I know that many of you have been waiting for some more discord and angst and
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such and this is the prelude to some of that awesome drama.</em></p>
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<hr size="1" noshade="noshade"/>
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<p class='c1'><strong>Chapter 8</strong></p>
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<p>It was nearly two whole weeks later when Harry deemed his theorem worthy of
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inspection. As instructed, it had opened with a hypothesis of his idea.</p>
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<p>"… <em>I have encountered death and its following misery more times than I can
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count, not only in my own life but in that of others as well. The wounds of war are
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far more than just physical and the wizarding world is only starting to develop an
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understanding of what that entails just now. I wish to help people who have been
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unable to move on after losing a loved one and believe that communicating with the
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person they lost might benefit them greatly. I know that it would help me.</em></p>
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<p>He explained how he wanted to achieve this result. He had done the math as best he
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could. He had listed all ingredients as well as their counters should they be
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necessary and he created the chemical formula that went with the recipe. Harry felt
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that he was ready to start brewing the potion. After all, it could not improve
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without the much needed practical trial and error.</p>
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<p>So he had finished the theorem with the conclusion that if all went well, the end
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result would be to communicate with the souls of the departed through the typical
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senses of sound and sight but also through touch and even smell. After all, had he
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himself not always longed to be hugged by his mother?</p>
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<p>Harry contemplated if he should wait for Snape to come to meet him in the lab but
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since they hadn't actually agreed to meet, he decided to just go to Snape's private
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quarters and present him with his work. So he made the very short trip, and politely
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knocked on the door, his hands trembling with anticipation.</p>
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<p>"Enter," Came Snape's usual response. Harry opened the door and looked at Snape
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who was reading the Daily Prophet with an almost bored expression on his face.</p>
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<p>"What can I do for you, Harry?" he asked without even looking up.</p>
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<p>"I think I've finished my theorem," Harry said, feeling somewhat giddy, "And I was
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wondering if you'd be willing to look it over to approve me for the practical
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follow-up."</p>
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<p>A small smile graced Snape's features for the better part of a second before he
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put down the newspaper and held out his hand.</p>
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<p>"I could do with some more interesting reading," he sighed, "It would seem as if
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the writers for The Daily Prophet are becoming less and less competent. Go on and
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hand it over."</p>
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<p>Harry thrust the sheets of parchment forward with a bit more force than was
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necessary causing him to lose the last few pages that weren't held firmly in
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place.</p>
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<p>"Sorry," Harry mumbled as he ducked and clumsily picked up the pages from where
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they landed. He handed them over to Snape who added them to the back of the theorem,
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shaking his head in mild amusement.</p>
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<p>"There's no need to be so nervous," he said in a calm voice, "I am here to assist
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and guide you, not to shoot your ideas down."</p>
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<p>Harry relaxed somewhat and waited with his hands clasped behind his back.</p>
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<p>Snape sighed heavily. "Take a seat and keep yourself occupied, Harry," he ordered,
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"Judging by the length of this, I will be reading for a long while. And I will not
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have you staring at me while I do so."</p>
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<p>"Of course, sir," Harry agreed. He grabbed one of Snape's potions books – one
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Harry had already read several times – and curled up in the chair next to the
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fireplace.</p>
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<p>Snape chuckled and started reading, expertly ignoring the glances Harry chanced
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every now and then.</p>
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<hr size="1" noshade="noshade"/>
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<p>It quite literally took hours for Snape to get through Harry's theorem. His face
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had not once betrayed his thoughts and it was driving Harry mad. He had finished with
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the book some time ago and was quickly overcome with boredom. And yes, that was a
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welcome change from the anxiety he had been feeling for those first thirty minutes
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Snape had been reading but he wanted to get this over with already.</p>
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<p>In his mind, he went over his idea several times, hoping that Snape would not find
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too many faults with it and allow Harry to further his studies. He had been working
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on the theory for months now, after all, and was just itching to start throwing those
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ingredients together and see a result. As a manner of speaking, of course. He would
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never haphazardly throw ingredients together. Not anymore, at least.</p>
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<p>Finally, Snape cleared his throat and Harry looked up from the spot on the table
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he had been staring at vacantly, meeting Snape's cold, calculated expression.</p>
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<p>"First of all, I would like to impress upon you the importance of the presentation
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of your theorem," Snape spoke.</p>
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<p>Harry frowned, not interested in such things at all but waited and listened
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politely.</p>
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<p>"I see that you have utilized the standard parchment that is commonly used in this
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school," Snape pointed out. "While fine for common homework and notes, your theorem –
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especially that of a Magnum Opus – should always be produced on decent parchment. In
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fact, having grown up in a muggle household, I am certain that you're aware of the
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existence of paper. While the wizarding world is generally behind when it comes to
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appreciating the inventions of the common muggle, when it comes to important tasks
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such as these, we make grateful use of their craftiness."</p>
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<p>Harry had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. Instead, he calmly said: "Use
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paper, not parchment. Understood."</p>
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<p>Snape smirked at him but didn't comment.</p>
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<p>"Furthermore, the terminology you used is far too complicated," Snape continued,
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"If it were for my eyes only, that would be fine but you need to remember that when
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you publish a theorem, more people than potioneers will read it. A master in
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herbology, for instance, might take great interest and in your case, I might even
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suggest that a seer might deem this a compelling read. Therefore, you have to make
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this easier to understand."</p>
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<p>"Dumb it down," Harry snorted, "got it."</p>
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<p>"Watch the cheek, brat," Snape chided lightly this time. He sighed and
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continued.</p>
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<p>"You must remember that this is a scientific text. Therefore, you should avoid
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using opinions and emotional sentences above all else. Otherwise, you come across as
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biased from the start and will not be taken seriously."</p>
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<p>Harry nodded in understanding, still waiting anxiously for any comment about the
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contents of the theorem rather than the surrounding technicalities.</p>
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<p>"I've noticed that your arithmetic skills leave much to be desired," Snape droned
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on relentlessly, "I've encountered three major errors that would leave your potion
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inert at best and cause mass destruction at worst. Furthermore, you didn't specify
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the thickness or the type of cauldron one should use for this potion nor the material
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of the accompanying stirrer. You added the use of a spell in the potion but didn't
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specify how the spell works or how one goes about casting it. Especially since you're
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using a spell that is not well known, it is of crucial importance that you do
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so."</p>
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<p>Harry's confidence had been decreasing more and more over the course of Snape's
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carefully structured criticism and by the end, he didn't have much hope left. Yet he
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still dared to ask.</p>
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<p>"Could I start brewing it while I rework the theory? As soon as I've worked out
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the math properly, of course."</p>
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<p>Snape regarded Harry carefully, making the boy feel like some sort of rare and
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valuable potion ingredient. A flicker of sadness marred the stoic appearance Snape
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was trying to convey, if only for a second before he spoke again.</p>
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<p>"Out of the question," Snape said, "In fact, I believe that this potion should
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never be attempted, even when the theorem is perfected. It is dangerous not to
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mention quite dark. Even when you manage to brew it, I can only imagine the
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devastating effects this will have on the drinker's psyche. I cannot condone this."
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Snape sighed deeply. "I suggest you start from scratch and come up with something
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less… controversial."</p>
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<p>"How can you say that?" Harry bellowed, his temper quickly taking hold of him,
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"I've been working on this for months! It's not dark. It's supposed to help
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people!"</p>
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<p>"Harry –"</p>
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<p>"No!" Harry interrupted, "You're supposed to be so great. You could probably think
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of something to help me realize this. I know you could! But of course, you don't! Why
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would you when you obviously can't even face my mother!"</p>
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<p>Harry grabbed his theorem and stormed out of the door, leaving a befuddled Snape
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behind. He regretted what he said immediately but was too upset to go back and
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apologize. He had put so much time and work in this! And it took Snape only a couple
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of hours to decide that he was inadequate and not allowed to brew his creation.</p>
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<p>Upset, he ran all the way to the Gryffindor tower and stormed into the common room
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where Ron, Hermione and Ginny were sat.</p>
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<p>"Harry," Ginny said, getting up as soon as she saw how upset Harry was. "Are you
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okay?"</p>
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<p>"No," Harry snapped, "Snape says I can't make my potion!"</p>
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<p>"Oh Harry," Hermione said soothingly, "I'm sure he'll allow it once you polish the
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theory just a bit more."</p>
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<p>Harry laughed bitterly. "Oh no," he said, "Snape was very clear. I can't brew it.
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Not now, not ever. Months of research, out the window!"</p>
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<p>Angrily, he slammed the parchment onto the table and sat down with a frustrated
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sigh.</p>
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<p>"Well, what did he say?" Ron asked, unsure of what he could contribute to a highly
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academic problem.</p>
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<p>"He said it's dangerous and dark," Harry said flatly, "And that there was no way
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to drink this safely."</p>
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<p>The three Gryffindors shared a look and Harry narrowed his eyes.</p>
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<p>"What?" he growled.</p>
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<p>"Well," Ginny started, "It's just that Snape is a well-respected Potions Master.
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He probably knows what he's talking about."</p>
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<p>"How can you say that?" Harry asked, angrily getting to his feet again, "You're
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supposed to be on my side."</p>
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<p>"We are!" Ginny countered, "And so is Snape. We just don't want you to get
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hurt."</p>
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<p>For a second, Harry felt his chest tighten with a twinge of guilt when he
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remembered what he had said – well more like yelled – to Snape before storming out.
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It was cruel, especially when Snape was indeed just looking out for him. But then his
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disappointment came washing back over him and swept his guilt away like the ocean
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would footprints in the sand.</p>
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<p>"Fine," he scowled, turning his back on the three traitors. "I can see how it
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is."</p>
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<p>"Harry –" Ginny started, reaching out to him.</p>
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<p>"Don't," Harry spat at her, "I need to be alone for a while."</p>
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<p>And with this theorem under his arm, he left the Gryffindor tower once more,
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swiftly losing hope of being treated fairly. But perhaps, there was one more person
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that could help Snape see the light. Steeling his resolve once more, Harry headed
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towards Dumbledore's office.</p>
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<hr size="1" noshade="noshade"/>
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<p>Harry was about ready to blast that gargoyle to pieces when it refused to allow
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him entrance for the umpteenth time. Harry had named every sweet he had ever
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encountered, be it muggle or wizard and the blasted thing still wouldn't open.</p>
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<p>Just when Harry was on the verge of pulling out his hair, the gargoyle finally
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moved, revealing Dumbledore waiting at the top of the stairs.</p>
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<p>"Come on up, my boy," he said loudly, "It would not do for you to blast the
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hallway to pieces."</p>
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<p>Harry mumbled something under his breath about ancient headmasters but made his
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way up anyway. When he entered Dumbledore's office, he was surprised to find Slughorn
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seated there already. The man greeted him warmly and Harry reciprocated politely.</p>
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<p>"The password is simply 'milky way'," Dumbledore informed Harry, "But I asked
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Archibald not to allow anyone entrance while I am up here with Horace. Of course, I
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didn't account for one very upset potioneer in training to grace me with his
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presence."</p>
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<p>"Archibald?" Harry asked.</p>
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<p>"The gargoyle, Harry," Dumbledore chuckled, "Have a lemon drop."</p>
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<p>"No thank you, sir," Harry said dryly.</p>
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<p>"Very well," Dumbledore conceded, "Now how may I help you?"</p>
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<p>Harry glanced over at Slughorn, not sure if he should speak with the man present
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but Dumbledore waved his concerns aside.</p>
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<p>"If this is about anything to do with your apprenticeship, I assure you that
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Horace is more than capable to enlighten you with his insights. Two heads are better
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than one, as I always say."</p>
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<p>Harry shrugged. Maybe Slughorn would be on his side and would be able to come up
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with a way to help Harry, even if Snape couldn't or wouldn't.</p>
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<p>"He won't allow me to brew my potion," Harry explained, placing his theorem on
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Dumbledore's desk. Slughorn took it immediately and started leafing through it but
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Dumbledore simply steepled his fingers and smiled warmly as he listened to Harry.</p>
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<p>"I've been working on this for months," Harry repeated for the third time that
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day, "And now Snape won't even allow me to go forward with this. I mean, I know there
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are some errors in there and I mean full well to correct them but I really don't
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think this will be as dangerous as he makes it out to be.</p>
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<p>"Do you feel that Professor Snape is treating you unfairly?" Dumbledore asked.</p>
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<p>Harry sighed in frustration. "No," he said, "Not on purpose anyway but I think
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that he lets his personal feelings get in the way."</p>
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<p>"Harry, this is brilliant!" Slughorn exclaimed after a short while as he thumbed
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through the list of ingredients and regarded the formula carefully. "There might be
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some consistency errors here and there but you could really make this work. This
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could very well be the discovery of the century!"</p>
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<p>Harry felt his disappointment and anger diminish somewhat while Slughorn gushed
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over his theorem. At least there was someone who saw its potential.</p>
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<p>"Horace," Dumbledore said gently, "Would you kindly leave Harry and I alone to
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talk for a while? We shall revisit our own discussion at a later date."</p>
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<p>"Are you sure, headmaster?" Slughorn asked, "I'm sure I could be of value if
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–"</p>
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<p>But Dumbledore held up a calm hand, stopping every objection Slughorn could have.
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When Dumbledore regarded you with the look in his eye that he had now, you knew that
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you should make yourself scarce. And so Slughorn fled Dumbledore's office but not
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without squeezing Harry's shoulder reassuringly as he left.</p>
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<p>"Harry," Dumbledore said warmly, the sparkle in his eyes already back at full
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force. "You and I have faced each other many times in the past. Be it in this office,
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the hospital ward or anywhere else. But it has occurred to me that we have never had
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a professional conversation before. Before anything else, I want you to know how
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pleased I am to know that there is now room in your life for these sorts of problems.
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Your life is no longer focused solely on the destruction of Voldemort and so we can
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move on to more pleasant conversation."</p>
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<p>Dumbledore sighed solemnly as he glanced over Harry's theorem and Fawkes thrilled
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sadly in accordance.</p>
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<p>"And yet it would appear that Voldemort still influences your life somewhat,"
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Dumbledore continued, "If only through the absence of the people you deserve to have
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here for you."</p>
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<p>"He doesn't run my life, sir," Harry objected quietly, "These choices are my
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own."</p>
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<p>"There is no shame in being shaped by the life you've lived, Harry," Dumbledore
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said, "Even if there was a great deal of sadness in yours. I hope you don't
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misunderstand me. Voldemort is in no way dictating your actions from this life or the
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next, but our experiences shape us. And yours have shaped a longing for what might
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have been. I am sad to admit that I too am sometimes plagued by such notions."</p>
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<p>"Which is why I want to brew this potion," Harry said earnestly.</p>
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<p>"Allow me to give you some grandfatherly advice," Dumbledore said as he laid out
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the pieces of parchment next to one another as if he was making an overcomplicated
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puzzle.</p>
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<p>"Your journey into attaining this mastery has only scarcely begun. And you will
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encounter many pitfalls along the way. It is only natural that you require direction
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to follow this path correctly but when I look at your theorem I sense that this is
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something you still lack, as do any young pioneers such as yourself. You don't lack
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knowledge. Of that, I can see the proof right here. But you have to gain that sense
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of direction to even begin going anywhere."</p>
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<p>"Because Harry," Dumbledore added with a knowing look in his eyes. "It is not the
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destination that matters, it's the journey that takes us there."</p>
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<p>Feeling somewhat deflated, Harry leaned back into his chair, actually grabbing a
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lemon drop.</p>
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<p>"So I suppose that you think Snape is right?"</p>
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<p>"<em>Professor</em> Snape, Harry," Dumbledore chided lightly, "And you would do
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well to remember that he is your mentor and far more knowledgeable than you are at
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this stage."</p>
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<p>Harry sighed in defeat.</p>
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<p>"Having said that, I don't agree that you should simply discard your entire
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project and start anew."</p>
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<p>Harry's green eyes filled with hope. "Do you mean that I could still make this
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work?"</p>
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<p>"I certainly believe so, Harry," Dumbledore said, "For now, you should probably
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leave your project to simmer. There is no shame in that, you know? I have projects
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going on that I have let simmer for decades simply to give myself some time to think
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it over."</p>
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<p>Dumbledore chuckled at the horrified look Harry gave him.</p>
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<p>"Not that I had that in mind for you, my boy," he assured him, "But I do think you
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should put a halt to this potion until you've mastered Occlumency."</p>
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|
<p>Harry actually snorted at that. "Professor?" he asked, "I feel like that's neither
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here nor there."</p>
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<p>Dumbledore smiled knowingly. "Trust me on this, Harry," he said gently, "And tell
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Severus what I said. I'm sure he will adjust his opinion accordingly."</p>
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<p>"Alright," Harry said doubtfully as he took his cue to leave, forgetting to take
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this theorem with him.</p>
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<hr size="1" noshade="noshade"/>
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<p>Harry felt slightly better after the conversation with Dumbledore but was not
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looking forward to facing Snape just yet. He had said something admittedly horrible
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to the Potions Master, even though the man was obviously only trying to help. Sure,
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he hadn't needed to be so dramatic about it but Harry's reaction was still over the
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top.</p>
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<p>In fact, it was reactions like that, that had made it so bloody difficult for
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Harry to master Occlumency. He was fine as long as he wasn't emotional but those
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times were rare indeed. It was a good thing he hadn't been sorted into Slytherin way
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back when. He wouldn't have lasted a week surrounded by the cool and collected
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personas of Snape's house.</p>
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<p>Harry walked all the way back to the dungeons, passing Professor Bell on his way
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to Snape's personal quarters. He stopped for a moment to help her out.</p>
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<p>"Are you lost again, Professor?" Harry asked.</p>
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<p>"Oh Harry, thank Goodness," Bell said, "Good to see you. I'm afraid that I can't
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find the staircase to the second floor."</p>
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<p>"You wouldn't down here, Professor," Harry said, "We're in the dungeons. You need
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to go all the way back until you see the doors to the great hall and take a
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right."</p>
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<p>"That sounds easy enough," Bell said, smiling thankfully. "But where are you
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going?"</p>
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<p>"To see Professor Snape," Harry sighed with a somewhat haunted look in his eyes.
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Bell frowned slightly at that. "Anyway, good luck, Professor!" Harry exclaimed before
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turning the corner that led to Snape's personal quarters.</p>
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<p>He was about to knock on the door when he heard loud voices come from within.</p>
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<p>"I can't believe you would keep Harry from personal growth, Severus!" Came the
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unmistakable voice of Slughorn. "This potion is nothing short of genius."</p>
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<p>"I will not endanger his life and mind for the completion of a potion, no matter
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how brilliant it might be," Snape countered strongly.</p>
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<p>"Sometimes you need to take chances to improve yourself," Slughorn said.</p>
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<p>"Not at this stage," Snape growled, "Not when he's still learning to find his own
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way."</p>
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<p>Then Slughorn said something indiscernible to which Snape replied; "Above anything
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else, he's still my son."</p>
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<p>Harry swallowed thickly and knocked on the door, tired of eavesdropping. It took a
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few seconds longer than normal for Snape to beckon him to come in and when he did,
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Harry opened the door slowly and doubtfully.</p>
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<p>"Come in, Harry," Snape sighed when the boy kept dawdling at the door, "Professor
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Slughorn was just leaving."</p>
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<p>Slughorn made a noise in the back of his throat and glared at Snape who was
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completely undeterred by the shorter man's gaze. He then turned to Harry and sighed
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solemnly.</p>
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<p>"I'm sorry Harry," he said, "I tried."</p>
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<p>And he left as Harry stood there somewhat awkwardly.</p>
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<p>"Looks like I'm not the only one with a sense of the melodramatic today," he said
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painfully as he shuffled his feet.</p>
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<p>Snape regarded him before turning to face the fire.</p>
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<p>"Sit down, Harry," he said curtly. Harry was glad to find no anger or resentment
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in Snape's voice. The poorly disguised hurt on his face cut Harry deeply, though.</p>
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<p>"I'm sorry," Harry blurted out as he hastily sat down in accordance with Snape's
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command. "I shouldn't have said what I said."</p>
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<p>"No, you shouldn't have," Snape said softly. He had his hands clasped behind his
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back as he gazed into the flames. Anxiously, Harry licked his lips, his hands playing
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with a stray thread of his cloak.</p>
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<p>"I was upset," Harry said, "But it was still wrong of me. I really <em>am</em>
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sorry."</p>
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<p>This time Snape faced Harry and found the boy sitting there, resigned to his fate.
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He sighed softly.</p>
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<p>"I forgive you, Harry," he said, "Though I do not condone your behaviour in the
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least. I will have you know that many accomplished masters have started projects that
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months or sometimes even years later proved to be useless or simply too dangerous to
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ever use or even brew. This <em>will</em> happen again."</p>
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<p>"I understand sir," Harry acknowledged.</p>
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<p>There was a moment of silence in which Snape regarded Harry carefully.</p>
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<p>"I realize you visited with the headmaster," Snape then said softly, "And
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Professor Slughorn as well. Did you hope that they would overturn my decision?"</p>
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<p>"Well, yes and no," Harry admitted honestly, "I didn't expect to find Slughorn
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there but Dumbledore didn't send him away. I never meant to include him. I did hope
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that Dumbledore might talk to you and have you come up with a solution."</p>
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<p>Snape sneered, "And how did that work out for you?"</p>
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<p>"Well –" Harry started, not sure how Snape would take this mad suggestion.</p>
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<p>"Out with it," Snape snarled, crossing his arms tightly.</p>
|
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<p>"He suggested that I master occlumency."</p>
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<p>For a moment, Snape's face was frozen in a mask of disbelief and Harry wondered
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idly if he should floo the hospital wing. But then, the Potions Master shook his head
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incredulously, smiling as he did so.</p>
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<p>"That brilliant old man," he muttered, seemingly forgetting that Harry was still
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in the room. "Occlumency, of course! It is that simple."</p>
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<p>He started pacing in front of the fireplace. Harry had to tuck in his legs, afraid
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that Snape would trip over them if he didn't.</p>
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<p>"It's rather genius, really," Snape continued muttering, "If one could lock down
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their mind while still allowing for – but that would also mean that –"</p>
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<p>"Professor?" Harry interrupted.</p>
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<p>Snape stopped his pacing and looked at his charge with interest and excitement in
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his eyes.</p>
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<p>"Harry," he said solemnly, "It appears that this time, you truly <em>will</em>
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need to master occlumency."</p>
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<hr size="1" noshade="noshade"/>
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<p><em>I know what you're thinking! Damn, MS. Occlumency again? I thought you
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abandoned that idea altogether? But no sirree, here it is! Back for more. How do you
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all expect this to go? I hope you'll look forward to what comes next. And please,
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please throw me a review!</em></p>
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