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<div class="chap-title">
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22. Chapter 22
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</div>
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<div class="chap-text">
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<p><em>You guys have made me so happy with all of your reviews. Thank you so much!
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And to all the guest reviews I couldn't reply to, it was very much appreciated as
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well. thank you all for your time. You made my day. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter
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as well.</em></p>
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<hr size="1" noshade="noshade"/>
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<p class='c1'><strong>Chapter 22</strong></p>
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<p>Harry was already packed and ready to go even if he wouldn't need to leave until
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the next evening. But he was excited to go back home and see Alex. He vaguely
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wondered if he should introduce Draco to him when the blonde came over and decided he
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might as well. If Draco was able to act civil to Hermione, he would also be able to
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act civil to a muggle.</p>
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<p>With great effort, he had managed to convince Hedwig to leave the dungeons and
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head towards Spinner's End. If took him promising her that she would be allowed to
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return to the potions lab but eventually, she had nipped his finger affectionately
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and taken flight. It would probably do her some good to fly a longer distance. She
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hadn't in a while.</p>
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<p>As for Harry, right after dinner, he found himself back in Snape's quarters for
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what would be the last time that year. He wasn't there for an Occlumency lesson. Not
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really. But Snape had promised him that they would work together to find Harry's
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innate magic and the sooner he was able to access it, the better. Especially if it
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could help him with his potion.</p>
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<p>"For this one time, I will need you to drop your shields," Snape said as he
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regarded the boy sitting in front of him.</p>
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<p>Harry smirked. He had felt the familiar push of Snape's Legilimency but wasn't
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about to grant the man access without him expressly asking him to first. After all,
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he was supposed to keep his shields up all the time and block any and all attempts of
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Snape to force his way in.</p>
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<p>"Okay," Harry agreed, "Anything I should know before we get started?"</p>
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<p>"It'll all become clear once we've entered your mind," Snape said impatiently,
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"Now if you don't mind, lower your shields."</p>
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<p>Harry tried to but realized that once you know how to put up your shields, it was
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rather difficult to stop doing so. It was almost like swimming. When you didn't know
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how to, it was easy to sink to the bottom like a brick. But when you did, it was
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quite difficult to stop from keeping yourself afloat.</p>
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<p>"Harry, I'm waiting," Snape said, rapping his fingers on his desk.</p>
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<p>"I'm trying," Harry protested, "Just give me a minute."</p>
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<p>Snape sighed. "Just imagine a doorway of sorts for me," he said, "I'll be able to
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find that and use it to get in."</p>
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<p>Harry scrunched up his nose in concentration and imagined a door. Light was
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shining through from underneath it and he imagined the door to be usable by Snape
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alone.</p>
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<p>"There you go," Snape said and suddenly, Harry felt his presence within his own
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mind. The sensation was odd. When they weren't perusing memories or thoughts, he
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wasn't entirely closed off from the outside world. Right now, he was aware of both
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which gave him a sense of confusion.</p>
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<p>"Are you aware of where I am?" Snape asked.</p>
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<p>"Of course," Harry replied.</p>
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<p>"Join me then," Snape said, "Close your eyes if you must. It makes things
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easier."</p>
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<p>Harry closed his eyes and found himself in the now very familiar depths of his own
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mind. He wondered if he looked like himself since he had never encountered a mirror.
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Snape seemed to be able to take on forms of all kind. But right now, the dour man
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simply looked like himself as he stood there, waiting for Harry.</p>
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<p>"I need you to focus," Snape told him, "Focus on the sense of magic."</p>
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<p>"How do I do that?" Harry asked.</p>
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<p>"Do you remember the first time you held your wand?" Snape asked. Harry nodded.
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"That's the feeling you're looking for. I need you to think of that."</p>
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<p>"Er…" Harry still wasn't sure. What had that been like again?</p>
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<p>After a few moments, Snape snapped his fingers and Harry felt himself being pulled
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into a memory again.</p>
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<p>"Hey!" he protested, "I thought we weren't going to do this anymore?" He almost
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kicked Snape out of his mind when he realized that the memory was of him trying out
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wands. "Oh," he said.</p>
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<p>"One of the many benefits of being an Occlumens," Snape explained simply, "Is
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being able to revisit your own past to look for wisdom you might have missed."</p>
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<p>"Wow, could I use this to pass my exams?" Harry asked incredulously.</p>
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<p>"You could try," Snape said evenly, "But by the time you gathered the information
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you would need, the exam would be long over. I don't need to remind you of the
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altered flow of time in here."</p>
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<p>"Right," Harry sighed.</p>
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<p>"Here it comes," Snape pointed out when he saw Ollivander's face lit up.</p>
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<p>"<em>I wonder,"</em> the old man said.</p>
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<p>"Focus on that feeling. Relive the magic flowing through your wand for the very
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first time."</p>
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<p>Harry honed in on the magic he felt course through his young body and grasped it
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with his mind, feeling as if he had taken hold of a strong rope. He tugged at it. The
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memory disappeared and all of a sudden, he was surrounded by threads of light in many
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different colours. The most prominent colour was red. Snape – who could see what
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Harry was seeing – scoffed.</p>
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<p>"Typical," he growled.</p>
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<p>"Are you going to tell me that strand is red because I'm in Gryffindor?" Harry
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asked incredulously.</p>
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<p>"Of course not," Snape replied, "That's the thread that represents offensive
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magic. It was only to be expected that it would be so prominent."</p>
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<p>"And what's this one?" Harry asked as he pointed towards a deep blue one. It was
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so thin that it was almost not even there.</p>
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<p>"That's definite proof that you're not a seer and that divination was a complete
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waste of your time," Snape said icily.</p>
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<p>"Of course it was," Harry said soberly, "But it was easy and relaxed. Well, until
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Trelawney predicted my death, of course."</p>
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<p>"Not exactly what I would call a good reason to take <em>any</em> class," Snape
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said, "But since that's behind us, there's no point in arguing about it. Especially
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not when in the time-consuming progress of exploring your mind."</p>
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<p>"It does seem rather mundane to discuss my curriculum while staring down at
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colourful strands of pulsating magic," Harry deadpanned.</p>
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<p>"Indeed," Snape replied.</p>
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<p>"So… what are we looking for?" Harry asked.</p>
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<p>Snape pointed towards a brilliant white strand that seemed to be three times the
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size of the strand that represented seer magic. It was however not even half as
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strong as the red strand. Harry frowned at it.</p>
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<p>"That's my innate magic?" he asked, "It doesn't look very powerful."</p>
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<p>"Is power all you can think of?" Snape asked. He sighed in exasperation. "In this
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case, its power does not matter. It's powerful enough to make you a wizard which
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makes it stronger than average, to begin with. Surely, that should satisfy your need
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for excellence."</p>
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<p>"Alright," Harry grumbled, "I get it. No need to get all snarky about it."</p>
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<p>"Come," Snape said and started walking the path the magic took.</p>
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<p>"So we just follow it?" Harry asked, traipsing behind Snape.</p>
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<p>"Obviously," Snape sneered as he kept walking.</p>
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<p>"And then what?"</p>
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<p>"Harry, while I appreciate your sense of curiosity and longing for knowledge, you
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should realize that you'll find out soon enough if you would just be patient."</p>
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<p>Harry rolled his eyes and looked around. They had bypassed the corridors - that
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resembled those of Hogwarts – some time ago and were now following a staircase
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downward. Around them, there were no more walls but rather a large open space with a
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great green sky in which fluffy clouds floated aimlessly. Among them, objects were
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strewn for which Harry could not think up a reason for them to be there. Like a
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grandfather clock and a large picnic basket. In the distance, he could see what
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seemed to be a playground and if he really squinted, he was sure there was a castle
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to be found.</p>
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<p>"This is pretty wild," Harry snickered as he kept walking down the stairs,
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following close behind Snape. "Does your mind look like this as well?"</p>
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<p>"Heaven forbid," Snape sneered.</p>
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<p>"What's wrong with it?" Harry asked, "I kind of like it."</p>
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<p>"Of course you like it, dunderhead. It's <em>your</em> mind we're exploring,"
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Snape replied coldly, "Just keep going."</p>
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<p>"I honestly don't understand how we're still going," Harry said, completely
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undeterred by Snape's less than amicable behaviour, "My mind can't possibly be
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<em>this</em> big."</p>
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<p>"I too would not expect the limited capacity of your mind to stretch as far as
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this yet here we are," Snape said.</p>
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<p>"If you won't stop being a prat, I'll kick you out," Harry warned.</p>
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<p>"And deprive me of the sight of your horrifyingly sweet fantasies?" Snape
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retorted, "However shall I sleep at night knowing that I missed all of this?"</p>
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<p>The stairs finally led them out of the admittedly fantastic scenery and stretched
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down a corridor for a while as if they were on the staircase to the astronomy tower.
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Snape started muttering under his breath.</p>
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<p>"What's wrong?" Harry asked.</p>
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<p>"Nothing in particular," Snape said, "It would simply appear that your innate
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magic is buried deeper than I had anticipated."</p>
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<p>Harry contemplated that for a moment. "Will that make it more difficult for me to
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access it?" he asked.</p>
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<p>"Not necessarily," Snape replied, "As long as the path remains straightforward, it
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should not pose an extra problem."</p>
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<p>"Then why are you muttering?" Harry asked carefully.</p>
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<p>"The deeper we venture into your mind, the more vulnerable it becomes," Snape
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replied, "We should be very careful."</p>
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<p>"It's alright," Harry replied easily, "It's not like you're here to do any damage.
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Not this time at least."</p>
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<p>"I was never going to damage you permanently, Harry," Snape said, sounding
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somewhat out of it.</p>
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<p>"Of course not," Harry said, "Which is why I fully trust you being here, even if I
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am more vulnerable."</p>
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<p>"It's not me I am worried about," Snape said pointedly, "But I am rather worried
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that your Gryffindor brashness might bring you to touch something you shouldn't.
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Impetuosity is not a valuable trait when doing something a delicate as this."</p>
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<p>"At least give me <em>some</em> credit," Harry objected, "Or have you forgotten
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that I have, in fact, withstood that final lesson of yours. Perhaps I am more mindful
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of myself than you seem to think."</p>
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<p>The winding staircase straightened out again and the pair of wizards kept walking
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further down. This next area was once again wide open and seemingly limitless but
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darker than the previous room. The sky was a dark blue as it would be at dusk but
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there was no moon and no stars. A forest stood erected all around them but about half
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of the trees appeared dead and dry. There were objects hidden in their branches.
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Harry frowned when he saw a toy soldier, a baby blanket and a pair of scissors. He
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shuddered involuntarily.</p>
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<p>"I don't like this very much," Harry said, unconsciously walking somewhat closer
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to Snape. "Didn't you imply that I should like whatever is in here because it's
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<em>my</em> mind?"</p>
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<p>"The upper levels are made up of dreams, desires and fantasies," Snape said
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evenly, "You control those, even on a subconscious level. The lower levels are made
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up of your experiences and fears."</p>
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<p>Harry snorted. "That makes my mind a right house of horrors," he said, "though
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this isn't too bad."</p>
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<p>Snape didn't respond. He just kept walking having the courtesy to not look at
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their surroundings. All he was focused on was that thread of white light. It seemed
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to pulse randomly at them as if urging them to keep going.</p>
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<p>"The things I do to brew my potions," Harry said uneasily as he tried to break the
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uncomfortable silence. An owl seemed to hoot in the distance and a slow rumble came
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from somewhere across the horizon. Snape was still not saying anything.</p>
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<p>"How much farther do you think we have to go?" Harry asked.</p>
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<p>"You see as much as I do," Snape replied, "Possibly even more so I can't tell
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you."</p>
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<p>"How often have you done this?" Harry asked, starting to feel more and more
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uncomfortable.</p>
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<p>"A handful of times," Snape replied evenly. "Are you doubting my expertise?"</p>
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<p>"No," Said Harry, "Just trying to determine if I'm a lost cause or something."</p>
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<p>Snape snorted at that comment. "That's a ridiculous notion. Of course, you're not.
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The strand is right there. You can see it as clearly as I can."</p>
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<p>"But maybe the core is buried too deeply," Harry said weakly, "None of the other
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strands are venturing this far."</p>
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<p>"We will be fine," Snape said soothingly. "All you need to do is focus and we'll
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get there. It might just take a bit longer than I had expected."</p>
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<p>"Okay," Harry said doubtfully, "But let me just say that this is getting to be
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decidedly creepy."</p>
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<p>"Duly noted."</p>
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<p>Again, the stairs disappeared into the ground, leaving the forest behind as Snape
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and Harry descended into another winding staircase. Cracks appeared in the brick
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walls the stairway coiled around and the steps seemed more and more unsteady and
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dilapidated.</p>
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<p>"Have you ever read Dante's Inferno?" Harry asked out of the blue.</p>
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<p>"I have," Snape replied, "Why?"</p>
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<p>"It's starting to feel as if we're descending from the most benign of circles into
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increasingly bad ones."</p>
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<p>Snape chuckled. "Harry, I assure you that if there is such a thing as hell, this
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is most certainly not it."</p>
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<p>"I know that," Harry said, sounding exasperated, "I was just making an assessment
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if that's alright with you."</p>
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<p>"Watch your step," Snape said urgently when Harry was about to put his weight on a
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particularly flimsy-looking foothold. Harry readjusted his gait and fell close behind
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Snape to copy his footsteps.</p>
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<p>Once again, the stairs straightened out, revealing an even more grim scene. The
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sky was dark all around. There seemed to be something out that looked like stars but
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instead of exuding bright white light, they were oozing a blood red that seemed to
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stretch out elongated tendrils towards Harry. The crescent moon hung on its side as
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if the sky was smirking at the pair walking beneath it. It too oozed a blood-red
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light and if Harry looked close enough, he thought he could see teeth in the gaping
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mouth between which a red liquid flowed. And all the while the mouth was
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smirking.</p>
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<p>Harry gulped and averted his gaze, only to become aware of the surrounding area.
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They seemed to be walking in a desert-like area. Dunes made up a large part of the
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scenery with strange, spidery plants trapped in their sands. Bits and pieces of
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ancient civilisations protruded from the cold sand as night-time crawlers made their
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way across the desert. A few of them turned their heads in Harry's direction but
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their eyes were hollow and cold.</p>
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<p>"Oh Merlin, please don't let us go any deeper than this," Harry said to himself.
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Snape heard him but didn't respond.</p>
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<p>Harry's eyes fell on a mountain of bones that lay stacked neatly against a huge
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but dead tree. The bones seemed to move as something burrowed beneath them. Harry
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turned his gaze to look at the strand of magic they were still following and wished
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for it to reveal its source already.</p>
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<p>Harry yelped when something very close to him slithered across the sand rapidly,
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shifting it before it burrowed underneath. It had been much wider than a snake.</p>
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<p>"Nothing will hurt you here," Snape reminded Harry. "Try and relax."</p>
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<p>"If you say so," Harry said, not fully convinced. He would like to believe that
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his own mind wasn't about to attack him, though.</p>
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<p>Faster than before, the stairs winded once more and Harry and Snape disappeared
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into the ground, leaving the scenery behind. The stairs were now so broken, that they
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might as well not have been there. It was now as if they were making their way down a
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slope that had sharp edges where the brick steps were still slightly intact.</p>
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<p>Suddenly, Harry lost his footing and slid down when Snape's hand stopped him.</p>
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<p>"Careful," he said, "We may be in your mind and not actually on a physically
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arduous journey but that doesn't mean you can't get hurt."</p>
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<p>Harry used Snape's outstretched hand to right himself again and shot him a glare.
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"What do you mean?"</p>
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<p>"When one believes themselves to be hurt strongly enough, their physical form will
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show the result. The further we go inside your mind, the more your body believes this
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ordeal to be reality."</p>
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<p>"<em>Now</em> you tell me," Harry snarled.</p>
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<p>"Would you not have gone if I had warned you?" Snape asked, arching an
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eyebrow.</p>
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<p>Harry sighed. "No," he admitted.</p>
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<p>"Once a Gryffindor, always a Gryffindor," Snape smirked, "And I'm not telling you
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that you're in actual danger. I'm just trying to prevent some cuts and bruises. Come
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on –" he stretched an arm down the path that would lead them farther down. "- I doubt
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we will have much further to go."</p>
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<p>Harry inhaled deeply, steeled his resolve and continued walking, taking extra care
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to seek solid ground before shifting his weight. The stone column the path coiled
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around was missing various stones and showing gaping holes of darkness. Between the
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stones oozed a thick green liquid that slowly cascaded down and dripped onto the path
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they were taking. Harry thought he heard whispers coming from the wall but knew
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better than to stare down its depths.</p>
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<p>The staircase straightened out again and actually ended entirely as if to signify
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that this was their final stop. Harry inhaled sharply at the new scene he was forced
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to lay eyes upon.</p>
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<p>This time, the sky itself was a blood red. Cracks seemed to appear within it as if
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they stood inside a humongous snow globe that had been dropped and broken. Dead trees
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stood haphazardly among the earth, cracked because of the obvious draught that held
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this area in its grasp. Spiders and centipedes crawled between the crevices, fighting
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over what seemed to be scraps of meat. Harry's eyes widened when he saw a huge
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millipede wrap itself around what seemed to be a human ear.</p>
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<p>A high pitched creaking sound reverberated around the area in a rhythmic pattern
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and made Harry's hair stand on end.</p>
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<p>"What the hell is <em>wrong</em> with me?" Harry murmured.</p>
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<p>"Nothing's wrong with you, Harry," Snape responded, ignoring the trail of spiders
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that crossed his path. "Everyone carries darkness in their heart. Even the Gryffindor
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golden boy." Snape smirked but sighed when he saw Harry's stricken expression.</p>
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<p>"You've seen much in your life," he continued, "This was only to be expected."</p>
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<p>Harry laughed bitterly. "You expected <em>this</em>?" he asked loudly, gesturing
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towards a rotting carcass of what seemed to be a large dog.</p>
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<p>"I understand why this might seem a bit grotesque to you," he said, "But this is
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really not as bad as it seems. The mind is a perplexing thing and can be difficult to
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understand sometimes."</p>
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<p>Harry scoffed indignantly.</p>
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<p>"Believe me when I tell you that you're within the range of what one might
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consider 'normal', Harry."</p>
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<p>"Well, normal is impossibly abnormal," Harry said evenly.</p>
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<p>Snape laughed, lifting Harry's spirit somewhat, though he did still flinch when
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the sky splintered even more with a loud crack. For a moment he wondered if they
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would find themselves buried under tons of glass soon. Snape had already started
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moving again and Harry sped up somewhat to catch up with the man.</p>
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<p>"It can't be much further," Snape told him, "Since there are no more ways down,
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the source of your inert magic has to be on this plain somewhere."</p>
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<p>Harry heard the sound of crows as they flew overhead. He looked up to see at least
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two dozen of them circling. Sometimes, one of them swooped down to feast on the
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multitude of insects exuding from the pores of the earth. Other times, they simply
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fought the critters for the hunks of meat they had in their possession. Harry thought
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he could hear them yelling things at him. But if they were, their words were
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unintelligible. When he looked behind him, he noticed that he was leaving footprints.
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He didn't take the time to consider why those footprints were wet with red
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liquid.</p>
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<p>The strand of magic they were following was pulsing quicker now. It was the only
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spectrum of light that was still visible on this plain and Harry found refuge in it.
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He felt his mind reach out to it and hold on, trying not to wallow in the dark
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depravity that surrounded them.</p>
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<p>"I doubt Luna's mind is like this," he said as he watched how the skin of some
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dead animal was practically melting off the branches of a dead tree.</p>
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<p>Snape snorted. "No, I don't think it would be," he agreed, "But Ms Lovegood is a
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special case, isn't she?"</p>
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<p>"She thinks our souls are connected," Harry said, wondering why he even brought
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that up.</p>
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<p>"Does she?" Snape asked evenly, "She might not be entirely incorrect."</p>
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<p>"What do you mean?" Harry asked.</p>
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<p>"It's rather obvious, I think," Snape replied, "The fact that I'm walking beside
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you as we're making this journey is proof of our connection. No one else could've
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gone with you this easily."</p>
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<p>"Why is that?" Harry asked, "Is it because we've practised Occlumency
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together?"</p>
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<p>"That is part of it," Snape acknowledged, "But it also has a lot to do with the
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fact that we trust each other. And that we've bonded in many ways that others –
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Professor Dumbledore for example – have not been able to do."</p>
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<p>"Like when you adopted me?" Harry asked.</p>
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<p>"Yes," Snape agreed, "As well as your apprenticeship."</p>
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<p>"I'm lucky, I guess," Harry said, "That everything is connected to each other like
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this."</p>
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<p>Suddenly, Snape held out his arm to stop Harry and peered at the edge of the
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thread in front of him. It ended in a large, pulsating orb that exuded strength and
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power. The light was so blinding that Harry and Snape had to shield their eyes from
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it. Surrounding it were trees in full bloom, bearing fruits of all kind. No creatures
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of the dark dared to venture close to it as light exuded from all around the orb.</p>
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<p>Harry was overcome by a sense of calm and stepped forward. Snape didn't stop him.
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He merely followed.</p>
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<p>"The orb is you," Snape said as Harry scuffled closer to it, mouth agape. "It is
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you at your most primal. It is your most pure and untainted form of magic. Once you
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touch it, you will know where it is buried. You will know how to access it. You can
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learn how to harness it."</p>
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<p>Harry reached out but hesitated, stopping his hand mere inches from the glowing
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ball of light. It seemed to whisper to him. To call to him. Harry grew a bit
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suspicious, almost thinking this was a trap of sorts but Snape put a hand on his
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shoulder, soothing him.</p>
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<p>"It's alright," he said, "It won't harm you. Reach out, and allow for it to guide
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your senses."</p>
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<p>Putting all of his faith in the Potions Master, Harry reached out. As soon as his
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fingertips touched the orb, tendrils of the magic sped down the length of his arm,
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engulfing the boy in light. Snape let go as if he were chased away by the magic but
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he looked on with no concern in his gaze.</p>
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<p>Harry felt himself be enveloped and recognised the feeling that now coursed
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through his veins. Even though he was sure that he had never felt it before. He felt
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it burrow its way into his mind and knew at that moment where it was and where he
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could find it. It made him feel more complete, even if he had never felt incomplete
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before. He now knew that he had been.</p>
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<p>Finally, the light withdrew as fast as it had ensnared him and went back to being
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a big ball of light. Amazed, Harry looked at Snape to find the man smirk knowingly at
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him.</p>
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<p>"I take it that now you understand," he said solemnly.</p>
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<p>Harry felt euphoric and his eyes darted around excitedly as if he was literally
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looking for the right thing to say.</p>
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<p>"That was extraordinary," he ended up saying, knowing that it was far from
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sufficient."</p>
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<p>Snape chuckled. "That it was," he agreed. "What do you say we get out of
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here?"</p>
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<p>Harry knew that his physical body was feeling tired when he felt the tug of sleep
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try to pull him away from his inner adventure. He smiled and took Snape's
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outstretched hand.</p>
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<p>"That sounds great," he admitted.</p>
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<p>It was a good thing for both of them that there was no need to make the journey
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back. Instead, they were catapulted back into the shallow depths of Harry's mind with
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tremendous speed where the boy finally broke the connection and entered the physical
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realm once more. He was vaguely aware of the sound of Slytherin students making their
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way to breakfast. He couldn't help but groan.</p>
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<hr size="1" noshade="noshade"/>
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<p>I wonder very much how you guys feel about the way I portray Occlumency. Any
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thoughts? As always, reviews are appreciated. It makes me happy!</p>
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